Friday, April 9, 2010

well yay

So today wasn't so bad :)

I started my day well with knowing I lost 2 pounds :)  I am now at 263 :) and if I loose another 2 pounds by Wednesday I'll be on schedual with my weight loss :)

so yay :)

and also I straightened my hair today and it actually looked nice :)

AND I got a new pair of heals and they are pretty and so so so so comfortable :)

thats all :)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

It's Decided :)

So I have decided in order to insure more weight loss..

I'm gonna start going to the gym twice a day at least half an hour each time :)

also I have a pass to let a person come with me when I work out so if your interested :)

also I'm gonna start drinking more water :)

The Biggest Loser:P

So I'm watching the biggest loser right now...

and wow those people are just loosing weight like crazy :P

hmm maybe if this on my own thing doesn't work I can go on the show :)


Holy Moly !

Well hello there people who obviously are not reading this :P

This week has been horrible... like honestly between gaining a pound to the stupid hairdresser ruining my hair btw I went to see a professional and apparently the lady completely distroyed my hair... like its nasty :P

So now I have to treat my hair 4 times a week with this conditioner so my hair will fix.. and hopefully it does or else I may just shave it and wear a wig until my hair grows back :)

Now onto other matters. 

I wont lie I've kinda been avoiding the gym this week....

It's just I feel so uncomfortable there... it honestly feels like everyone is watching and judging me when I'm in there working out...

and I know, I know its all in my head but still..

so I decided maybe I should just buy some equipment and workout at home where I'm comfortable...

THEN I saw the prices of equipment 

like honestly its just crazy how much things cost...

like to buy a good treadmill will cost your a good 2 grand...

so I guess I'm just gonna have to suck it up and go to the gym and if anyone looks at me I'm gonna kick some booty :)

Until next time folks :) 

Monday, April 5, 2010

EWWWWWWWWW !

OKAY so today is a REALLLY REALLY REALLY bad day!

So first I gained a pound :( !

so ew that sucks but they said that sometimes you loose some and then you gain some so I'm not to to worried...

next I went and got a perm today ...... and now I look like a POODLE!!!!

Honestly I tell the lady i want a loose perm you know like loose waves... INSTEAD she gives me this big poofy mess tight curls that don't look good at all !

I mean i gave her pictures and explained what I want and now I look hideous !

so now I guess I'm gonna be straightning my hair everyday... until this shiteous hair goes away !

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

YAY ME :) !

So YAY to me I lost another 2 pounds and am now 264 pounds now :)

and guess what people I lost 4 inches on my waist !!!!!

YAY !!!!!

I realize that I haven't updated as often as I would like but sometimes life just gets in the way.

This week has been pretty tough with being sick (totally my dad's fault) and having extremely soar feet from walking so damn much, but I think the worse part was having a fight with my mom.
Yesterday I was feeling awful, I had a soar throat, ear infection and a major headache.
So clearly I wasn't feeling up to going to the gym. Then my mom gets mad at me and starts screaming that I'm already quitting and telling me how we should cancel the gym membership if I wasn't going.....

Well, that sorta made me feel very unappreciated. I know that a lot of people struggle with weight loss and you know how it feels but for you fortunate people who can stuff your face and never gain a pound, let me tell you that it's tuff. 
You feel horrible all the time, and you don't feel like you belong in society where now of days if your not a size 2 then your basically not accepted. 
Weight loss is possibly the hardest thing I've ever gone through. It tests you not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well.

I'm dealing with denying my body the food it wants, and eating food that really doesn't taste that great. I'm pushing myself harder and harder physically as well. But, also dealing with doing something that everyone thinks I will fail at.

I've always been the big girl. From the time I started school in kindergarten I've realized that I was bigger then others. I saw growing up that all my friends and people I knew my age were growing up pretty and fit, but I was always oddly proportioned I guess.

I didn't let it get to me until i was older though. It happened when someone would make a joke like oh my Melissa why are you such a fattie?, or something along those lines. 
I didn't let people notice the hurt it caused me because I didn't want to look weak so I laughed it off with them.

People don't realize how much you can honestly hurt someone with nasty words like that. But, whatever I am trying to get better now and soon people are gonna have to find something else to hate about me :P

But, back to it, it really did hurt when my mother said that I was quitting cause I really wasn't. I just really wasn't feeling well to go and she wounded me when she said stuff like that.

She has since then apologized when she realized she was wrong. :)

Even though we have some tough times I'm really thankfull to my parents right now. They have agreed to go on this diet with me (truthfully we all could eat healthier) and are eating the same things as I am so I don't have the temptation of eating fatty foods.

Well I think I've rambled on a little long so I'll leave it at that and try to update more often :)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I'm So Sore....

So I got back from the gym about an hour or so ago... and wow I am freaking sore....

I feel like I've been hit by a bus...

Luckily for me my good friend Chelsi came with me and made it pretty fun
even though I officially want to take a sledge hammer to every olyptical or w.e its called :P

I am getting weighed in tomorrow and hopefully all this working out and nasty food is working 

Wish Me Luck :)