YAY ME :) !

So YAY to me I lost another 2 pounds and am now 264 pounds now :)

and guess what people I lost 4 inches on my waist !!!!!

YAY !!!!!

I realize that I haven't updated as often as I would like but sometimes life just gets in the way.

This week has been pretty tough with being sick (totally my dad's fault) and having extremely soar feet from walking so damn much, but I think the worse part was having a fight with my mom.

Yesterday I was feeling awful, I had a soar throat, ear infection and a major headache.

So clearly I wasn't feeling up to going to the gym. Then my mom gets mad at me and starts screaming that I'm already quitting and telling me how we should cancel the gym membership if I wasn't going.....

Well, that sorta made me feel very unappreciated. I know that a lot of people struggle with weight loss and you know how it feels but for you fortunate people who can stuff your face and never gain a pound, let me tell you that it's tuff. 

You feel horrible all the time, and you don't feel like you belong in society where now of days if your not a size 2 then your basically not accepted. 

Weight loss is possibly the hardest thing I've ever gone through. It tests you not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well.

I'm dealing with denying my body the food it wants, and eating food that really doesn't taste that great. I'm pushing myself harder and harder physically as well. But, also dealing with doing something that everyone thinks I will fail at.

I've always been the big girl. From the time I started school in kindergarten I've realized that I was bigger then others. I saw growing up that all my friends and people I knew my age were growing up pretty and fit, but I was always oddly proportioned I guess.

I didn't let it get to me until i was older though. It happened when someone would make a joke like oh my Melissa why are you such a fattie?, or something along those lines. 

I didn't let people notice the hurt it caused me because I didn't want to look weak so I laughed it off with them.

People don't realize how much you can honestly hurt someone with nasty words like that. But, whatever I am trying to get better now and soon people are gonna have to find something else to hate about me :P

But, back to it, it really did hurt when my mother said that I was quitting cause I really wasn't. I just really wasn't feeling well to go and she wounded me when she said stuff like that.

She has since then apologized when she realized she was wrong. :)

Even though we have some tough times I'm really thankfull to my parents right now. They have agreed to go on this diet with me (truthfully we all could eat healthier) and are eating the same things as I am so I don't have the temptation of eating fatty foods.

Well I think I've rambled on a little long so I'll leave it at that and try to update more often :)